Afraid.
May 6, 2009
ive been so afraid of people. and the funny thing is im scared to tell people im afraid. its an everlasting circle that no one seems to understand. because im afraid of you. but you dont scare me. its so strange because i am, but im not afraid of everyone. im afraid of everyone as a whole and what people are capable of, and what people do. it frightens me how mean, angry, happy and nice people can be, and how they choose to act on these abstract things that influence them so much.
i hate people. i say that all too much. people take it too personally. i do not hate you. or you friend. i hate people and i think you are just persons. the same? heck no! majority sucks. thats the truth. i dont hate MY life i hate life itself. but it still should not be wasted. (im so far of topic its crazy but i havent blogged in so long i fear this will be a big one. sorry. but anyway..) im not far of one single bee, but im shit scared of a swarm. one crow is near harmless, a murder is very different. im not scared of soldiers, im scared of armies. too many examples? never.
but i do hate some aspects of life. like at my age people take relationships far too seriously. i was havent a good chat with my dad about this. its not like we’re getting married? who really cares that much. sure you have to live with public humiliation but if you took my advice in the first place you wouldnt be in this situation anyway, right?
and i really hope people dont think i hate relationships because im not in one at the moment. i dont really like anyone right now so i dont give a shit if im single.
this tires me.
-R.M.